So I live a life where I'm always bringing myself down.
I can do something better, look better, be better.
I'm never truly satisfied with just the way I am.
I can never count my blessings.
I only see the negative things about myself,
whether they're true or not.
I'm trying to change the way my mind works.
It's difficult, I've come to learn.
But sometime it's easier to give yourself criticism, rather than praise.
So I've decided on a method on how I'm going to change this.
For every bad thought I have about myself,
no matter what topic it can be categorized under,
(such as body image, talents, etc.)
I have to tell myself one good quality I possess.
It's a simple start to hopefully a better and overall more positive mind,
I'm going to continue making this habit more routine in my life.
It was one of those days,
(and I informed you of the past few weeks I've had)
where I just couldn't think of any positive things,
they were all very negative.
So I'm forcing myself to write about what good qualities I do have.
This is not meant to be conceited in any nature.
It's just a method for myself, to try and have a healthier mind.
----
So here I begin.
For every one bad thing, I have to state something good.
1.) I hate the weight that I am.
I've come a long way from my super over-weight and unhealthy
middle school and high school days.
Ones I do not want to relive.
But as much as I try, this body of mine I will never like.
I love my height.
I could never be tall, I don't know how you over 5'5 ladies do it.
I can wear heels around who ever I please and still be perfect height.
And it wasn't hard finding someone to date that was taller than I.
5 foot for life.
2.) I hate how much I care about what people think of me.
It's seriously the most annoying flaw I possess.
I have turned down so many opportunities based on other people's opinion.
It disgust me how much I let this be an influence.
But I can't stop.
I mostly follow, and I don't lead.
I love how I'm not scared of change.
I love how I left four hours away to college, and didn't look back.
I love how I had the balls to change my hair from blonde to brunette.
(And thrown a little pink in there too, soon maybe blue?)
I love how I want to pack up after college,
and move to a city I have never step foot into.
Whether it's big or small, I embrace change and love it.
It's brought so many great moments into my life,
and I hope it brings many more.
3.) I hate my boobs and butt.
Okay a little TMI but you'll get over it.
That moment I make millions and can afford to get them altered,
you'll be able to find me in the nearest plastic surgeon's office.
As long as I'm doing it for me, that's all that matters.
I love my eyes.
I've once been told I have wolf eyes.
It's the one feature about myself that I'm very proud to say I possess.
There was one point in my life where I wanted colored contacts,
yeah I don't know what I was thinking.
4.) I hate how negative I am.
About everything, I never give myself enough credit.
But as you can tell, I'm trying to change.
I love how I care about people.
Sometimes this is a flaw, and sometimes it's not.
It only becomes problematic when I stop thinking about myself, as well.
And this does happens every once in a while.
But typically, I put other's before myself.
Which you never see much of anymore.
It's not just caring about what people think about me,
that's when it can become flawed.
It's doing things for people just because.
5.) I suck at shaving my legs.
Seriously, I am!
I am always missing huge spots on my legs.
Then it's just awkward,
because I get too lazy to get back in the shower to fix it.
I rock at reading.
I'm not as bookwormy as I'd like to be,
but I'm proud that I one of those rare people that like
a good page-turning book.
----
Originally, I thought about making this post funnier.
Saying things like I'm boss at watching Netflix for hours,
how I'm an A-lister on the Kim K: Hollywood game,
(Yeah, don't judge me for that confession)
and how my ability to make a bowl of cereal is prime.
But if this is really going to work for me,
(and I really hope it does)
I need to take it seriously.
Everyone has moments where they notice their flaws more than usual.
And I want this to serve a purpose to show that
A.) You're not alone and
B.) You need to remind yourself of all the good you do have.
----
Next time you here from me,
I'll be in the BGKY!
Couldn't be more excited for this busy weekend coming up!
So until then,
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