Very easily, you can find yourself in a rut. And you’re not
alone.
It’s hard to think that someone else could be feeling the
same down-in-the-dumbs feelings you’re having, especially when all you see is
people posting about their perfect, happy lives on all platforms of social
media. It’s hard to not compare, but I mean, when you’re sitting in a boring,
white-walled office everyday while you see your friends posting awesome
Instagram-worthy pictures of beach sunsets, fancy cocktail they ordered with
friends, or awesome events they’re attending, do you blame me?
But you don’t just get in a rut by comparing yourself to
others. Sometimes, it’s just a bad day that led to a less than pleasant
evening. Maybe that bad day transformed into a bad week, month, year. No
judgement here. They happen. To everyone. Including myself. I promise.
Lately, I’ve been experiencing one of those ruts that just
seem impossible to shake. (I know, it seems like I always am, right?) But I
guess what bothers me the most about this, I would say, “stuck” feeling, is of
how dedicated I have been lately to be more optimistic. Not even a “fake it
until I make it” kind of positivity, but truly having a clearer, more open
mind, smelling the rose (well actually the coffee) in the morning, and setting
out to have a good day, no matter the circumstances. Life happens, and I’ve
been trying to accept more that that doesn’t always means it happens the way
you want it to.
So through this new-found look on life, trying to work hard
and push myself in the direction I see myself going, I’ve still ended up here,
stuck. So now I’m just thinking, “What gives?”
Being new in the nine to five world, I’ve recently (more
than ever) have been seeking out advice on not only how to survive the work day, but also how to
survive life in general. I’m in a new phase of my life, one that I’m definitely
not adjusting too well, and even though I’m not alone on this venture, it’s
easy to feel as you are. That there’s no one there that understands.
Without details of who and what, here are some words I
have received to get yourself out of the rut:
1. No matter how you feel, you need to get up
and show up.
Easier said than done, right? I get it.
When you’re feeling defeated, it seems more appealing to just lay in your bed
with your fur baby, beige watching your latest Netflix obsession, consuming all
the carbs you want because they don’t count on bad days, and wasting your hours
away until something comes along to perk you up. I’m guilty of doing this, all
the time. It’s actually become a talent of mind, but I’m taking this as
directly as I can and you should too. A bad day, week, whatever is sometimes
impossible to become motivated by, but try looking at it as your motivation. Life’s telling you to have a
bad day? Look it in the eye and say no. Wear your best, put some badass lip
gloss on, and be the boss of how you’re feeling.
2. Don’t take everything so personal.
This one is extremely difficult for me, but
someone recently reminded me that just because someone doesn’t approve, like,
accept something about you, what you do, or how you live your life doesn’t mean
A.) Someone else isn’t going to appreciate that aspect of you and B.)That that
piece of you isn’t amazing. There are some people that just are mean, throwing
stones to protect themselves, and then there are people that just aren’t going to
like you while you have no idea as to why. But you know what? That’s okay.
Don’t take the negativity from people two steps behind you to heart. Instead,
give them a reason to retract the comment. Or better yet, don’t even give them
the time of day. Those seconds are not worth your time. You can tell a lot
about a person by what they choose to see in people, and if all they see are
your so-called “downfalls”, then those are not the people you want to associate
yourself with. And remember:
“Mermaids
don’t lose sleep over the opinion of shrimp.”
3. Still have hope.
Hope is that one thing I always lose so
quickly. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Hope that you won’t be in
your current situation much longer. Hope that everything happens for a reason
and that reason just hasn’t appeared yet. Hope that your dreams will become a
reality. When you’re in a rut, hope can be lost. Your days become routine and
predictable, same with your overall feelings. But I was advised not to do that.
I don’t like having expectations, because they easily become disappointments a
majority of the time. But it’s not necessarily expecting good news to roll your
way, it’s not losing faith in yourself, your future, your capabilities. Though
I may not be where I thought I would be starting my life after graduation, I
can still see barely see that light at the end of tunnel, but it’s enough to
give me hope.
4. Feelings are self-induced.
I understand someone’s words and actions can
make you upset. And I understand that life gets in the way of your plans and
makes you frustrated. But you ultimately choose to become mad, sad, defeated,
frustrated, upset, from what’s going on around you. I do this, all the time. I
let these essentially become my excuses. And even though I’m a firm believer
that it’s okay to be sad, whether you have a reason or not, I’m also starting
to become a believer to fact that the outside world can easily invite you to
become (and even stay) upset. It’s ultimately our job to not accept the
invitation to the party.
And finally,
5. An individual who has fallen and gotten
back up is stronger than the person who never fell.
You have scars and bruises and dirt covered
knees. Good. There’s nothing else I could say to make this sit in my head, your
head, or anyone else’s. You just have to have faith, maybe along with a side of
prayers, that your battle isn’t to cause casualties, but to bring forth the
hero that you are and make your will and bones stronger. Don’t let a fall
prevent you from showing up, making the most of the days ahead of you and
losing the hope that fuels your soul.
Let
it make you, well, you.
Remember, what consumes your mind has
control over your life. And sometimes your own personal thoughts can have a
bigger impact and leave a deeper scar than anything else. Ruts… yeah they
happen, but don’t let that become what defines you.
Until next time,
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